What we’re about

Hello!

 

‘Buy the damn dress’ is a metaphor for empowerment.

Many years ago when I was a solo parent I saw a dress I really liked. I certainly didn’t have access to the fountain of money but in a moment of frivolity I bought ‘the damn dress’.

What happened? My fears had me thinking I’d have to sell my house, I wouldn’t be able to feed my child, pay the bills. What actually happened was NOTHING.  I managed.

I LOVED that dress and had many years of pleasure out of it.

When you really want to do something, you will find a way.

There is so much joy to be had in life but we need guidelines to get ourselves there.

When we take on the responsibility for ourselves we can power up our lives by making what I call ‘Delicious Decisions’. We all deserve happiness. So buy that damn dress – metaphorical or not!

Rocking Lockdown

“It’s in those small moments that we find our revelation, our creativity, our next step”
– Monica Moore ‘Buy the Damn Dress’

Kate’s Moment

Early into lockdown in New Zealand, Kate Leebody accidently knocked over her young grandson’s collection of stones that he kept at her home in Dunedin. As she was picking them up she noticed they had fallen into the shape of a person. This moment morphed into her creating daily rock pictures with captions during the nation’s 7 week lockdown from March to June 2020.
Little did she know that this would result in requests for her to publish a book.

“I’m not bored – I have friends”
Kate’s first post on April 5th

Social Media

She posted her first ‘rock art’ on FaceBook on the 5th April and thereafter daily. Her work grew in popularity and she gained an unexpected following. Each day she posted a new picture with a caption. On the final day of lockdown on June 2nd she posted a farewell daily post with the promise of guest appearances of her work.

Kate’s granddaughters celebrating a birthday during lockdown

Kate’s inspiration came from friends, family, personal experiences and situations that she and at times, the whole country, found themselves in under the conditions of our lockdown. Her two sons Joss and Shea and their families also feature throughout the book.

What was once a ‘normal’ in our daily lives had become unavailable during lockdown. Kate provided suggestions and alternatives to takeaways and birthday celebrations. She empathised with those missing out what we were accustomed to. She also emphasised the importance of family and friends in may of her works.

Kate’s son, wife and Grandson

Reflection and Discovery
Lockdown was a time for reflection and discovery. People had to adapt to a different ‘way’ of being and priorities; what really is important in life, became very clear. People took more care of people and across the nation there was a sense of common good; doing what’s best for everyone. Neighbours kept an eye out for each other and health and wellbeing became ‘number one’ for everyone.

And amongst this there was Kate Leebody sharing her stories in rock form. Her long time friend Wendy Barron recognised that people loved Leebody’s work and decided to do something about it. She very generously sponsored the publishing of a book of Kate’s creations and another friend, Joanne Borgman did the layout and formatting, resulting in the book which is a worthy representation of Kate’s genius art.

“Why needs KFC when you can roll out some pretty good meals with this stoneware”

Kate Leebody is wise, she’s smart and lives life to the full. She spent her working life in education and had a significant impact on the board of a local licensing trust and a well recognised involvement in regional Netball.
She never expected the response she’s had from her rock art. She developed a huge following with people looking forward to her daily posts. I was one of those people. Seeing her daily rock art and clever captions was uplifting. It highlights both the power and impact of sharing creativity and of how much we really do need each other, particularly during challenging times.

“Hey Mama Rock Me”

Humble to the core Kate does not accept payment for her book, instead requesting that people make a donation to the NZ Food Bank or Womens Refuge.
I’m not convinced that she is fully aware of the impact of her creativity and the inspiration that it has for others.
The result of her ‘moment’ has given joy to many with her book. It is a stunning, memorable and a creative tribute from a smart, quick witted and all round fabulous human being. Children have been inspired to see rocks in a different way as have all of us. Schools are utilising her works as means of creative inspiration and people like me are simply enjoying and in awe of what she has created.

Thank you Kate for what you gave the world during difficult times. We have the capacity to bring joy and we do not need anything more than nature and our creative thoughts. It certainly is a delicious decision to both indulge and share creativity.

What are your moments of opportunity, of creativity, of next steps. Be mindful and aware because they are ‘there’.

“Hoping to rock up to the hairstylist one day soon”

“The therapeutic value of rocks and plants”

Me with Kate. Her quick humour is second to none

The words that we say

“Mind your speech a little lest you should mar your fortunes.”
William Shakespeare – ‘Hamlet’

Your words can bring great wins – or cost you greatly. 
Words have the power to hijack your thoughts and feelings, determining whether experiences are negative – or the opposite.

Just like tools, words craft outcomes.You need to be a master of your tools. Spend time in word therapy!

KNOW THIS:

1. The words that you speak, think and write have a profound impact on your life outcomes and those around you. So much so that words can make or break your relationships, your business, your reality.

2. Choose your words carefully. Think about what you’re thinking about and how you’re expressing yourself. Become an editor and an expert!

THE POWER OF WORDS

Words are immensely powerful. They frame and influence our thoughts. Those thoughts become our reality. The combinations of the 26 letters of our alphabet have so much power over you. 

The words that we say and which are said to us can impact positively or negatively on our self-perception. They evoke and provoke emotional responses that have huge power over our behaviours and life outcomes. 

RIPPLE EFFECT

Your choice of words affect not only you, but also have a ripple effect on those around you. Your words make a statement about you and can label you, for example: ‘calm and collected’ or ‘reckless and reactive.’ What do you want to be labeled as, as a result of your words?

Furthermore you are causing an emotional impact on others by creating unnecessary stress and tension or elevating people (emotionally not literally) resulting in empowerment.
Are you limiting or creating positivity with the words that you say?

In the business world, everyone is looking for what I like to call ‘recommend-ability’ (made up word by Monica – you are welcome). Being pleasant and polite isn’t enough. You need to find words which help you to stand out. We all want the ability to be recommended and words give us that power!

I have chosen to give my ongoing business to a particular person who is a self-employed sole trader. Her service is available from many different places, but the reason why I go to her is due to some words that she said to me a few years ago, which made her STAND OUT.

The first time I met her I asked the obligatory ‘How are you?’. It was her response to this simple greeting which prompted me to eliminate any of her competitors.

So what did she say?  

Her response of  “I’m fantastic! I’m doing what I love and creating lots of opportunities to make my customers happy!” was unusual and unexpected. Her positivity was contagious but when I initially heard this, it jarred with me because it was so different. I was expecting the usual answer of  ‘Good, thanks’ and it rattled me. I tried to dislike her perky exuberance (purely to make myself feel better!), but her words came across as sincere and authentic. She gave a sense of confidence and authority that she knew what she was doing. Very quickly she became ‘number one’ in her field, in my estimation, eliminating her competitors and I became one of her regular customers.  Her words were powerful and aligned. She meant what she was saying. I have continued to work with her over the years and my initial impression of her has proven to be correct. Win win!

REFLECTION
What words are you using?
How are they influencing others?
Are you reaching your goals with the words that you use?

If you knew how powerful negative words were, you’d never have them again!

Do you feed or diminish negative experiences with the words that you use and stories that you tell?

Practice being aware of the words that you are using.

Certain words spoken at certain times to certain people have a huge impact.
 Put some (or lots!) of thought into your words. 

Furthermore – and just as importantly –  the words that you associate with and link to your experiences, past and present, will shape your future. This can happen consciously or subconsciously.  Consciously choosing your words will springboard you to experience having the  ‘best day ever’, on a daily basis.

Be smart and use words that empower both yourself and others.

Equanimity – My Inspiration

Equanimity is to approach situations with calmness and composure. Equanimity does not ignore our emotions, but helps us to keep them working for us.

In fact equanimity honours our emotions.

Not everyone deserves your emotional response, so you should not be sharing it with just anyone! You wouldn’t let just anyone borrow your designer dress and your emotions are far more important and valuable – yet many of us share them around willy-nilly to just about anyone and everyone! Makes sense? Of course it does! And get this: I have learned to treat people the way I choose to treat them, thanks to equanimity. It’s been a delicious and totally empowering experience deploying equanimity.

My relationships with key people (and even with those who are not so key) have improved dramatically as a result. Equanimity gives us more power over our emotions, as it creates an evenness of mind, even under stress. 

Each time I say this word I feel an emphasis on the ‘qu’ and imagine myself saying it like a sophisticated french woman. My maiden name was Doré – so I channel the ‘Monique Doré’ deep within me!

I’m striving for equanimity and recommend you think about it to.

Equanimity sounds sophisticated and means even more!

Equanimity will power up your world for sure.

More about this in my book ‘Buy the Damn Dress’ available here: https://monicamoore.net/

The power of our words

Language is powerful. While it transmits literal messages, just as significantly, language transfers subconscious messages that can result  labeling and creating social restrictions  and harm other people.

The words we use can result in rejecting, invalidating and disempowering others.

We are all eye to eye in our human dignity. Honour that dignity rather than operate from judgement, ranking or hierarchy.

We should stand up for what we believe in but we do not have the right to diminish the dignity of others.

 

Words can do that.

Watch the video clip.

Words are a powerful reflection of not just who you are but how you are.

Choose your words wisely.

 

 

 

 

View the world from refreshing perspectives!

I didn’t hesitate to accept an invite to the launch of the Flavour Full – Feast For Your Eyes art exhibition at ASB Waterfront Theatre last night.

Contemplating the art in the glorious setting of the foyer of the ASB Waterfront Theatre last night with wine in one hand, cheese in the other and the company of friend Julianne Harvey was a perfect scenario for some delicious time-out immersing in NZ Creativity.

Four contemporary artists are showcasing their work in the foyer, curated and led by Serval Fandango.

The exhibition will be open daily from 9am-5pm in the foyer of the theatre until December 13.

Fandango, 25, is currently one of NZ’s hottest young artists with his trademark eye ‘candy flair’.
His works are inspired by deliciously vibrant colours (loved the colours!) infused with his unique view on environments and personalities.

Fandango has produced work for clients including Steinlager Tokyo Dry, Britomart, Brothers Beer, Resene and Red Bull and Auckland eateries Kiss Kiss and Love Exposure.  Joining Fandango are exciting emerging artists Flora Xie, Abbey Gamit, AHSIN AHSIN showcasing mixed medium art from photography, painting, digital art and motion graphics.

Loved the colour and style of Ahsin Ahsin’s neo-pop culture in his mural sized designs.
Flora Xie’s dreamy photography with is captivating with the subtle mood of melancholy in each of her works delicately delivered through expression, lighting and colour. Abbey Gamit has been exploring the digital realm and her work is known for the collating of compressed ‘fast’ and found imagery, with more intimate imagery. The vibrance and fun of her work caught me.

Take time out and view the world from new and refreshing perspectives.

The exhibition is supported by the Tautai Contemporary Pacific Arts Trust and Auckland theatre company.

It was an added bonus to catch up with some of my favourite people who work with Auckland Theatre Company and the  ASB Waterfront Theatre. They are dedicated to their jobs and go beyond to honour NZ arts. All honour to them!

Monica ‘does’ gym

 

With our day so full of decisions I’ve simplified many of them leaving me with the energy to concentrate on the more complex ones.

One of my ways of doing this is to make Forever Decisions – those decisions that you can decide to make for the rest of your life so you don’t have to bother with the energy of making them again – ever! I LOVE this so much.

So I’ve decided to look after my body forever! That means I’m never going to have refined sugar or processed foods again  – this has saved me from dilemmas at cafes – no raw or coconut sugar options – no eat. SIMPLE and I LOVE that. (notice the reinforcement)

Part of looking after my body forever is to stay strong. I’m a fan of walking and running (LOVE running) but this isn’t going to keep all muscles strong so, in spite of not loving the gym I’ve made the Delicious Decision to go to one 3 times a week for toning and strengthening.

Everyone in my family goes to the same gym so I’ve sought their support and guidance.

Here’s a snippet of my very first trip – I’ll post every 6 weeks so you can track progress and YOU can be my accountability angels!

Step outside your comfort zone

It’s a Delicious Decision to step outside your comfort zone and try new things.

The nerves, the self-doubt and the ‘don’t be so ridiculous’ kicked in recently when I modelled in a retro fashion parade at the Milford Shopping Centre here on the North Shore of Auckland.

Me and modelling equates to ‘never, not and no’ in my life code so what a perfect opportunity to push myself out of my comfort zone and conquer something that I’ll never do again.

However, I love retro and I just happen to have a few pieces that deserve to see the light of day.

The experience didn’t hurt me at all, it was like my ‘mini-Everest’ but no preparation or vertigo involved.

After I completed the mission I felt great, mostly due to the having interactions I had with the other models who were there for similar reasons; to showcase their lovely clothing and to have fun! Also big thanks to organiser and compere  of ‘Glamour on the Green’, the very creative and clever Monique Bradley!

A conversation with a lovely lady who is currently going through chemotherapy and had decided that she’d model both her gorgeous retro outfit and her new wig was humbling and taught me something for sure.

The event was all about community, connection and collaboration — my favourite things!

 

It  was certainly a delicious decision!

 

A habit worth breaking…

After a meeting with my fabulous biz coach this morning, I made myself breakfast.

As I was about to make it I stopped and thought, “What do I actually feel like having for breakfast?”

After decades of being ‘busy mother’ and knowing that it is easy to not honour ourselves in the course of our day (it’s a habit worth breaking!), I took a few seconds to think about what I’d like rather than what was quick.

My Southland roots kicked in and I was overcome with the desire for cheese rolls and a cup of ‘gumboot tea’.

So I did just that. When I made the tea it was a bit milky and I thought ‘flip it’ and made another one to my liking.

While these are just small moments, they have made a big difference in how I feel about ‘me’. Honouring myself in the course of my day makes it easier to honour others and have authentic relationships.

I did go a step further and took my breakfast out into the sunshine and our lovely backyard view.

Lesson? I’m sure you can figure it out.

What are you going to do today that honours who you are??

Make the damn breakfast Buy the damn dress Live the damn life

Happy days
Monica

For Puck’s Sake!

I love Puck. Puck is clever.  Made famous by Shakespeare’s  “Midsummer Night’s Dream”  Puck is a mythological character, neither male nor female and is often known as being malicious and cheeky but it is we humans that provide the ‘material’ and maybe Puck knows more than we think. 

Puck makes fun of our human flaws and we so readily play into Puck’s hands with our ‘learned helplessness’, our jealousy, vanity, insecurities and many more of the human flaws that we willingly display on a daily basis.

Just look at us! We’ve come such a long way with science and technology yet we still can’t embrace our human connectedness and make the most of the joy of our lives.

We fight, we are nasty, we are selfish and we play off against each other, divided in our differences

 

                           Yet our strength is in our human connectedness.

People need people. Our foundation is in our commonality as people.

Puck finds it easy to see the foolishness in us because it’s so easy to find!

So, what’s the message here?

My idea of Puck

Catch this….

When we acknowledge our commonality and ditch the ‘noise’ of difference we find our core power to bring happiness.

 

Buy the damn dress – but take responsibility. Look after it, pay for it and your bills.

Enjoy that dress! If someone tells you that you look great – THANK THEM.

Have a wee sneaky peek in the microwave door or that shop window – you deserve it.

The ‘dress’ is, of course, a metaphor with a thousand messages. What’s it telling you today???

Make it trickier for Puck to mock our flaws! Let’s get our act together  – for Puck’s sake!

Our core power is found in our connectedness